Remembering a beloved teacher

By Melissa Fili
MethuenLife Writer

“ I remember when I went to the dance and me and Mr. Bistany did ‘The Robot’ together.”
“Mr. Bistany was a great teacher, but more importantly an amazing person. He was always laughing and teaching us while having a good time. He was very understanding and a great listener.”
“ ... If he ever had a bad day, you’d never know it. He was always there for us when we needed help and never gave up on us. Mr. Bistany will always be my favorite science teacher and a nice and funny guy and I’ll never forget him.”
“Mr. Bistany, you risked your life to save another human being. I am so proud of you.”
These are just a sample of nearly 100 index-card notes that fill a section of wall outside of the Marsh School’s Upper School Office. Beneath the words “Always Remember,” Associate Principal JoAnn Lakow has arranged the messages in neat rows where, even three weeks into the school year, she admits, “I still get teary while reading these.”
Beloved sixth-grade teacher Dennis Bistany died Aug. 18, at the age of 43. He drowned after jumping into Newfound Lake in Bristol, N.H., because he thought his brother-in-law needed help.
Bistany was well-known at the Marsh, where he taught for about five years. His roles included sixth- and eighth-grade teacher, industrial technology teacher, Student Council adviser, Second Step after-school program leader, coach, listener, helping hand and role model.
Lakow says that because his death occurred so close to the opening of school, she felt the students really needed a way to express themselves. On the first day of school, when she held assemblies with all of the fifth- through eighth-graders, she offered them the opportunity to write down memories, feelings, reflections or whatever was on their mind in relation to Bistany’s death, and those messages would be displayed. Students could ask their teachers for index cards, and could either sign their message or submit it anonymously. At last count, 91 heartfelt messages — from both students and staff members — graced the board.
“He was awfully devoted to his craft,” says Lakow. “He was able to work with hundreds of people every year whose lives he impacted.”
She says the moving notes prove that Bistany was a teacher who truly made a difference in the lives of kids and grown-ups alike.
“So many people thought they were his best friend. He would do anything for you,” explained Lakow.
Lakow expects the board will be dismantled in October, and she will give the hand-written notes to Bistany’s sister.
“It’s a hard lesson to learn,” Lakow says of her students. “But death is part of life, and life must go on.”